The C Word
The C Word
What's all the fuss about the C word?
Apr 24, 2026
What’s all the fuss about the C word? It’s often unwelcome—avoided, softened, or ignored—but it’s also the catalyst for growth. I’m referring to change, of course.
Why? What did you think I meant?
Change can be both exciting and anxiety-inducing. Currently, I’m swept up in a massive current of it. Fortunately, all of it is unfolding on a solid foundation—so I know I’m steady, even when everything else is shifting.
It seems that every area of my life is being rearranged—or redecorated—in a fun (and daunting) way.
A massive renovation is impacting several rooms of our home.
A corporate storytelling masterclass that I’ve been building for years is about to launch.
The pre-sale for my memoir with Sourcebooks has begun.
All are welcome.
All meaningful.
And last week, Adam and I got married on our eighth anniversary.
Oh—and the day before our wedding, I hosted my mother’s memorial.
It’s tempting to wear a replica of the t-shirt worn by Taylor Swift during her Eras Tour with “A LOT GOING ON AT THE MOMENT” across the front.
It feels like I’m in the midst of organized chaos (another c word). I know several people who thrive in chaos. I am not one of those people.
A couple weeks ago Adam said, “You will feel so much better once we are married.” He was suggesting that two fewer upcoming events will decrease stress. I laughed. This is absolutely true because it means two boxes will have been checked: my mother’s Celebration of Life and our wedding. Planning the memorial while preparing for our wedding felt like straddling two seasons at once—one representing endings, the other beginnings. He was right. I do feel better.
My mom, Kenna, died six months ago, so her memorial wrapped up a long goodbye. Grief doesn’t move along a neat and tidy schedule. It lingers, even as life insists on moving forward. One of these seasons I have had to accept and surrender to, and the other Adam and I—gratefully—have some control over.
The idea of getting married is something we’ve talked about for years, but it never felt necessary. I wished to be proposed to—because I have never been asked that deeply personal, weighty question. But I don’t fully understand the significance placed on marriage. Everyone expressed sincere happiness for us when we announced our engagement. Weren’t they happy for us before? After all, nothing is changing except how we file our taxes.
It’s humorous that our accountant is thrilled about our getting married and is an advocate for filing jointly. However, our estate, wills & trusts attorney is the only one who was discouraging of us legally marrying. Apparently “marriage” adds a layer of technical complexity to our co-habitation agreement and trusts. I laughed at her response and reassured her that we do not want to change anything, and she let out an audible sigh!
We are nontraditionalists to a decent degree. There was no “first dance” or feeding one another cake or a reveal (Adam helped me lace up the back of my dress!). That morning we woke up together, and later that night we went to bed together, as we always do. Our ceremony emphasized maintaining what we have together, not a pledge for something new to begin in our lives. Our ceremony was a symbolic honoring of one another and was led a dear friend who is a fully-ordained Tibetan Buddhist monk.
Adam and I will continue to love one another once we file our taxes jointly. Respect and adoration will remain a constant in our relationship. I am keeping my name. I will never change my name. It’s my belief that a woman should never lose a part of her identity—unless she is redefining herself. If so, pick a name you love that fits you. We all have the right to reinvent and define ourselves on our terms.
After our wedding—which was a fantastically fun party—the dust won’t settle for a while due to the renovation, book, and masterclass. Drywall and floors will be sanded and stained. During which, we will be displaced for a period of time—but we have that solid foundation I mentioned, so wherever we are, it’s still home—no matter how much everything else changes.
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