While I do my best to not have expectations when I pick up a book, sometimes it hits differently than I expect it to. THE WIDOW’S GUIDE TO DEAD BASTARDS by Jessica Waite is a memoir that reads like fiction. It’s a grief memoir. It’s a revenge story. It’s a story of love and reconciliation across the veil. It’s all of these things — and more.
The shocking truth of her husband’s alter ego is a blindsiding discovery for Jess, who shares her experience with gut-wrenching (and retching) honesty. I recommend checking out the graphic illustration that her niece created for her website: https://www.jessicawaite.work/ to give you an interesting visual that you will want to turn your head away from, but your eyes won’t allow it.
How do you grieve someone whom you have discovered isn’t who you thought they were? Porn addiction, sex addiction, compulsive spending…no wonder she selected such an accurate title for her memoir.
What surprised me as I read her memoir, is that it was triggering to me — not as a relatability of her loss — but at the shocking discovery of who she thought she was married to turned out not to hold up. Loss is a broad spectrum. From the actual (and inevitable) loss of human life, to a move, a job change, a divorce — all of these qualify for grief-related cycles of mourning. And each of these “losses” listed also have their own degree of severity and nuances that individualizes each life event.
In the big picture, Jessica’s real life story is relatable to ANY woman who has (or had, as I did) a BASTARD in their life. In fact, some may feel envious that she has a DEAD one.
If this memoir had been released 15-20 years ago during my dark days of struggle during an ugly divorce, I would have had multiple copies of this book placed strategically around the house.
If you want a lesson on how to move forward with grief, push through anger, or ever wanted revenge — or for a dozen other reasons — simply read Jessica’s story.
Unsure if this was intentional for Barnes & Noble, where I bought THE WIDOW’S GUIDE TO DEAD BASTARDS, but the new releases are across the aisle from their Horror section. This juxtaposition is simply fabulous and astounding accurate with the subject matter contained within.
Jess set a high bar for a debut memoirist.
She had me at ‘bastards’.
